High Gloss Paint Good for Environment

 A new high gloss paint from Sherman WIlliams has been discovered to contain ingredients that reflect heat from the sun.  Environmental supporters have recently been purchasing the new paint in high volumes to paint houses and garages to help reduce our environmental impact.  

“I had no idea that my paint could be so influential,” Ty Jones, the lead designer from the company, reported. “Since this discovery, our scientists have been working around the clock to increase the proportion of the pikeryte without sacrificing paint coverage quality.”  

Pikryte is a compound of sandstone and sodium crystals that, when under the proper conditions, forms strong bonds and a reflective material that is environmentally friendly, stable in paint, and, importantly, affordable.  

Shareholders of Sherwin Williams are enjoying the temporary boost in stock price, while also encouraging the company to work with marketing agencies to increase long term sales. “The fact is,” longstanding shareholder Roger McCarthy remarks, “the stuff is too bright.  All the houses painted with high gloss paint look preposterous and hurt my eyes on a sunny day.  But the cash is good and it’s good for the planet, so we need to figure out how to either tone it down or get more people to want the stuff.”  

The company is taking bids from marketing agencies to do just that.  Acceleration Partners is one such company, who submitted a bid including a pitch to provide customers with free high quality UV protection and anti-glare sunglasses, in partnership with Warby Parker, a well known eyewear producer and retailer.  

Robyn Charter, an official spokesperson for Warby Parker remarked, “If it’s good for the environment and good for business, it’s good for everyone.  We need more creative agreements like this on the table to combat climate change.” 

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